Top 50 Basketball Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best basketball jokes. (American Revolution Jokes)
  2. They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall… They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.
  3. Basketball Jokes for March Madness: A grandson was visiting his grandfather at the nursing home. When the boy walked into the room, the grandfather smiled. The boy enthusiastically said, “Grandpa you have March Madness teeth! You are down to your Final Four!” (Final Four Jokes & Grandparent Jokes)
  4. Who is the best Star Wars character at basketball?… Kobe Wan Kenobi. (Star Wars Jokes & Obi Wan Kenobi Jokes)
  5. Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together? … He shoots, he scores. (Movie Jokes & Music Jokes)
  6. What famous Southern Rock anthem is the same as the Boston Celtics offense during the 1980s… Free Bird. (Massachusetts Jokes)
  7. They’re a basketball team in transition… They’re going from bad to worse.
  8. Hanging in the hallway at the college are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.  One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”
  9. Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.” (North Carolina Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  10. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?… Jump hook. (Pirate Jokes)
  11. Why are college basketball coaches so excited to make it to the 15th hole in golf?… They love the final fore. (Golf Jokes)
  12. Christmas Basketball Jokes: What is Santa’s favorite basketball play?… the give and “GO GO GO!” (Christmas Basketball Jokes)
  13. What is a heart surgeon’s favorite basketball team of all time?… 1983 N.C. State NCAA Champions – the Cardiac Pack.
  14. Why did the basketball player always use the pay phone?… He loved dropping dimes.
  15. Basketball Jokes for New Year’s Day: What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?… To travel more.
  16. What do you call a college basketball player that misses dunks?… Alley Whoops.
  17. What do Karl Malone, Santa Claus, and the mailman have in common?… They always deliver. (Mailman Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
  18. What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?… Swiss! (Cheese Jokes)
  19. Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball! (Police Jokes)
  20. I have been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant… He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.
  21. Why are ghosts great at playing basketball defense?… They are great at getting through screens. (Ghost Jokes)
  22. What is a basketball player’s favorite thing about astronomy?… Shooting stars. (Astronomy Jokes)
  23. The anti-vax basketball team lost every game they played…. Apparently they never take any shots. (Covid Jokes)
  24. Who would be a great NBA center if he gave up his musical career?… POST Malone! (365 Music Jokes)
  25. 2023 NBA Draft: The Thompson Twins Amen Houston Rockets #4 pick & Ausar #5 Detroit Pistons pick have a sharp shooting dad. They often entered international 3 on 3 basketball tournaments and stunned opponents…. No one had an answer for the pick and pop.
  26. Coach Krzyzewski Baseball Career: Coach K had an amazing career as a college basketball coach. Many people do not know that before coaching basketball, he was a baseball player. He was a solid infielder and outfield, but Coach “K” was the worst hitter on the team. Coach K was always a focused on team success from a very young age. The baseball coach saw this and want to find a role for him. He tried him out on the mound and found out that Coach K was a fantastic pitcher. He finished the season pitching and lead the pitching staff in strikeouts. He truly was Coach K! (North Carolina Jokes & Baseball Jokes)
  27. Why did the basketball team change their name to the Possums?… Because they play dead at home and they die on the road.
  28. What is the worst basketball warm-up song?… Another brick in the wall. (365 Music Jokes)
  29. If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue… he would be Shaquille O’Teal. (March Madness Jokes)
  30. Why was Rudolph the Reindeer ineligible for his college basketball team?… He went down in history (from an 82 to a 67). (Reindeer Jokes & World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  31. If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get…  Missile Toe! (Astronomy Jokes)
  32. Marcus Smart is a polarizing NBA player. Fans think he is a clutch player with defensive intensity that is out of this world. Critics think he is nothing but a flop. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
  33. What is Red Auerbach’s favorite Pink Floyd song?… Have a cigar. (365 Music Jokes)
  34. July 19th National Hot Dog Day: What do you call a basketball player who dribbles between his legs, throws no look and behind the back passes, and celebrates 3-point shots?… A hot dog. (Best NBA 3-point celebrations)
  35. I talk a lot of trash on the basketball court… because my skills are garbage.
  36. Why do the UCLA basketball have to drink their coffee black?… Because KAREEM has graduated. (Coffee Jokes)
  37. What is the best play when you are playing basketball on the same team as your dad?… Pick and Pop. (Dad Jokes)
  38. Basketball Jokes for Thanksgiving: If the Pilgrims came on the Mayflower, then what does the Division I college basketball player come on?… The scholar ships. (Thanksgiving Jokes & Pilgrim Jokes)
  39. What reggae song do basketball players like?… Welcome to Jamrock. (365 Music Jokes)
  40. My tennis career has taught me I can be the best basketball player ever… Nothing but net. (Tennis Jokes)
  41. What type of earrings does a basketball wear?… Hoops.
  42. What role does a Dalmatian Dog fill on a basketball team?… A “spot” shooter.
  43. What is basketball players favorite type of firework?… a flare (screen). (Fireworks Jokes)
  44. What sports team is hated by all beard lovers?… The LA Clippers! (Beard Jokes)
  45. I am a big Star Wars fan and LA Laker fan… I dressed up as Kobe Wan Kenobi for Halloween. 
  46. Playing basketball with vampires is tough… No Blood! No Foul!
  47. Why would Hall of Fame Coach Dean Smith love to have at least 5 anti-vax basketball players for his Four Corners offense. …. they never take any shots. (North Carolina Jokes)
  48. Basketball stars don’t pass away – they just crossover. (Cemetery Jokes)
  49. Many basketball players fail their tests in school… because they do not want to pass.
  50. What is the #1 cereal for basketball players?… Dunkaroos.